Guilty Conscience EVA remix
by FLCO EX
Summary: (Eminem got spoof! HA! May have OOCness) Misato (Eminem) and Yui (Dr Dre) duke it out as conscience to see who has the last laugh. Rated for swearing and some *ahem* adult situation. *Original lyric upload*
1. Guilty Conscience EVA mix

Guilty Conscience (EVA mix)  
Author: FLCO EX  
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A/N: First I did Eminem Parodies on Nadesico, now trying it on EVA. Hope you'll like it. Plz R&R.  
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Disclaimer: I don't own anything that is Evangelion, Shady Records. I'm broke as well, so don't sue.  
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_Meet Kensuke, fourteen years old.  
Fed up with life and the way things are going,  
he decides to surf pornographic website._  
("Kensuke: I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more homes")  
_But he's bout to enter, he has a sudden change of heart._  
_And suddenly, his conscience comes into play..._  
("Kensuke: almost there, I gotta do this.. gotta do this")  
  
[Yui]  
Alright, stop! (Kensuke: Huh?)  
Now before you enter the website of adult pornography  
and try to see some naked girlies  
You better think of the consequence (Kensuke: But who are you?)  
I'm Shinji's mother and your conscience  
  
[Misato]  
That's nonsense!  
Go in and watch nude sluts and see some hardcore action  
And take off your pants and do some masturbation  
Go rub your dick quickly  
You'll feel you're so heavenly till you shoot cum off and landed on your keyboard  
  
[Yui]  
Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to  
The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll be disgusted with you  
Think about it before you enter the site first  
Look at the disclaimer, it says 18 years old and older  
  
[Misato]  
Fuck that! Do that shit! Watch some bitch!  
Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that clean?  
Why you give a fuck if you get caught cos your fourteen?  
Do you really think they gives a fuck if you have ASS-TEA-DEE?  
  
[Yui]  
Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! (Kensuke: You're right!)  
Not over this shit   
  
[Misato]  
Stop!  
  
[Yui]  
Drop the biscuit (Kensuke: I will!)  
Don't even listen to Misato yo, she's bad for you  
  
[Misato]  
You know what Yui? I don't like your attitude..  
  
{sound of static}  
  
("Shinji: Ayanami, would come over to my house for some tea")  
("Rei: Why are you inviting me over")  
("Shinji: I just wanna know you better..")  
("Rei: Is that it?")  
("Shinji: Y...yeah, so would you come with me, please")  
("Rei: Understood")  
  
_Meet Shinji, fourteen years old. ("Shinji: Please wait while I make tea")  
After growing some backbone and invite Rei Ayanami over,  
while making tea he found some drowsy pill on the kitchen  
Once again, his conscience comes into play... ("Shinji: If I...no, it's not right...")_  
  
[Misato]  
Now listen to me, I know what you trying to think  
and tell you what, don't be shy and slip this in her drink  
Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe..  
  
[Yui]  
Yo! You two are only fourteen years old  
You both are still underage, that's not right.  
  
[Misato]  
Yo, look at her bush.. it look so ripe. (Uh huh!)  
Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare  
Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there  
  
[Yui]  
Son, did you know Rei's constructed by my DNA?  
  
[Misato]  
Yeah, but with little content it's barely incest, haha!  
  
[Yui]  
Shit, you wanna get skinned alived by Gendo?  
  
[Misato]  
Man fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail.(Rei: Ahhh ahh uhhhh ahhh...)  
  
{sound of static}  
  
_Meet Maya, a twenty-four year old NERV Lieutenant.  
After making lunch for her lesbian lover,  
she walks in the door of the doctor's office  
to find Ritsuko in bed with another man.  
_("Ritsuko: Ahh uhh ahhh...")  
("Maya: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!")  
("Ritsuko: Maya!!")  
  
[Yui]  
Alright calm down, relax, start breathin..  
  
[Misato]  
Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin  
While you still gay she became straigth and tryin to get off?!  
FUCK slittin her throat, CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!!  
  
[Yui]  
Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit?  
  
[Misato]  
What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?!  
  
[Yui]  
Alright Misato, maybe she's right Maya  
But think about the your past relationship with Ritsuko.  
  
[Misato]  
Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab them?  
Grab them by the throat, get their insurance and claim them?  
That's what I did with Kaji, be smart, don't be a retard  
You gonna take advice from somebody who got trapped in an EVA??!  
  
[Yui]  
What'chu say?   
  
[Misato]  
What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?  
  
[Yui]  
I'ma kill you bitchy fucker!  
  
[Misato]  
Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper!  
Mrs Ikari? Mrs Y-U-I.?  
Mrs. YI gotten trap in EVA Unit 1 only Shinji could go all the way?  
How in the fuck you gonna tell this girl not to be violent?  
  
[Yui]  
Cause she still young and have a long future ahead of her  
Besides Ritsuko's insurance is WHAT?.. aw fuck it...  
I change my mind, shoot em both Maya, get her insurance!   
  
(Sound of a cocked pistol and two firing sounds)


	2. Original Lyric

  
Guilty Conscience feat. Dr Dre (Original Lyric)  
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Disclaimer: I don't own this song or anything that is Eminem/Shady Record  
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[sound of static]  
  
[announcer]  
_Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old.  
Fed up with life and the way things are going,  
he decides to rob a liquor store._  
("Eddie: I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more homes")  
_But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart.  
And suddenly, his conscience comes into play..._  
("Eddie: Shit is mine, I gotta do this.. gotta do this")  
  
[Dr. Dre]  
Alright, stop! (Eddie: Huh?)  
Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store  
and try to get money out the drawer  
You better think of the consequence (Eddie: But who are you?)  
I'm your motherfuckin conscience  
  
[Eminem]  
That's nonsense!  
Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's cribs  
And borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs  
Tell her you need a place to stay   
You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with an aged razor blade  
  
[Dr. Dre]  
Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to  
The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you  
Think about it before you walk in the door first  
Look at the store clerk, she's older than George Burns  
  
[Eminem]  
Fuck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch!  
Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich?  
Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch?  
Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids?  
  
[Dr. Dre]  
Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! (Eddie: You're right!)  
Not over this shit   
  
[Eminem]  
Stop!  
  
[Dr. Dre]  
Drop the biscuit (Eddie: I will!)  
Don't even listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you  
  
[Eminem]  
You know what Dre? I don't like your attitude..  
  
[sound of static]  
  
("Stan: It's alright c'mon, just come in here for a minute")  
("Girl: Mmm, I don't know!")  
("Stan: Look baby..")  
("Girl: Damn!")  
("Stan: Yo, it's gonna be alright, right?")  
("Girl: Well OK..")  
  
[announcer]  
_Meet Stan, twenty-one years old._ ("Stan: Give me a kiss!")  
_After meeting a young girl at a rave party,  
things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom.  
Once again, his conscience comes into play... _("Stan: Shit!")  
  
[Eminem]  
Now listen to me, while you're kissin her cheek  
and smearin her lipstick, I slipped this in her drink  
Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe..  
  
[Dr Dre]  
Yo! This girl's only fifteen years old  
You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not fair  
  
[Eminem]  
Yo, look at her bush.. does it got hair? (Stan: Uh huh!)  
Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare  
Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there  
  
[Dr Dre]  
Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie _Kids_?  
  
[Eminem]  
No, but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest!  
  
[Dr. Dre]  
Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?  
  
[Eminem]  
Man fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail..  
  
[sound of static]  
[pickup idling, radio playing]  
  
[announcer]  
_Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker.  
After coming home from a hard day's work,  
he walks in the door of his trailer park home  
to find his wife in bed with another man._  
("Grady: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!")  
("Grady's wife: Grady!!")  
  
[Dr. Dre]  
Alright calm down, relax, start breathin..  
  
[Eminem]  
Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin  
While you at work she's with some dude tryin to get off?!  
FUCK slittin her throat, CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!!  
  
[Dr. Dre]  
Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit?  
  
[Eminem]  
What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?!  
  
[Dr Dre]  
Alright Shady, maybe he's right Grady  
But think about the baby before you get all crazy  
  
[Eminem]  
Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her?  
Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her?  
That's what I did, be smart, don't be a retard  
You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES??!  
  
[Dr. Dre]  
What'chu say?   
  
[Eminem]  
What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?  
  
[Dr Dre]  
I'ma kill you motherfucker!  
  
[Eminem]  
Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper!  
Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.?  
Mr. AK comin' straight outta Compton y'all better make way?  
How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?  
  
[Dr. Dre]  
Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went  
Been there, done that.. aw fuck it...  
What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady, where's your gun at?   
  
[gun fires, is cocked, and re-fired]  



End file.
